Why am i so dependant on her?

Put aside emotional dependency, I'm assuming you're financially dependent on her. What generally happens is, when one partner/spouse is being abused by the other, and they are not financially independent, they then have no where else to go and so as a result continue to remain in the same dwelling as the abuser. This is especially true if the abused victim is geographically distant from his/her relatives. If you are NOT financially dependent on her (meaning if you are financially independent), then I'll just comment with "you teach people how to treat you." Otherwise, the problem isn't necessarily the abuse, the problem is that you are dependent on her financially which makes it difficult for you to leave the hazardous situation even if you wanted to.